Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Welcome

Hello.... We at Kaity's Way want to welcome you to our website and blog..... We hope that you found our website interesting and informative. What happened to Kaity is tragic, yet rather than let it keep us down we have chosen to turn a bad situation into something positive for other young people. Since Kaity was such a wonderful person we thought this would be the best way to honor her memory. We consider all suggestions and comments about our website. As we are only here to help others. As always take care and be safe....P.E.A.C.E.!

7 comments:

  1. Hello. My name is Melissa and Brenda Fields is my aunt. She had asked me to take a look at this site a few days ago and I think what you are doing is REALLY great! Kaity sounds like such an amazing young woman and I am truly truly sorry for your loss. Most people think of teen relationships as silly and just "puppy love", but what you're teaching the world is that not all teen relationships are like that. You teach people what signs to look out for if their loved one or even they themselves are in a violent relationship. Not only that, but you also give them other resources to further help them. I think this is such a great resource for young women...even older women...who are in need of some sort of help with a violent relationship and I think that is truly amazing!!!! I hope this gets out to a lot more people. I wish nothing but the best for you and your family!! XOXO, Melissa

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  2. Hi Melissa,
    Thank you so much for taking the time to look at our website and comment on it... The wise points you make are exactly what we were hoping people would get from our efforts. Please feel free to come back and visit us anytime... Eventually I will be updating the Current Events page, so keep an eye out for what we are doing. Maybe consider joining us. Take Care, Be Safe and P.E.A.C.E.

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  3. My daughter 19, has been seeing a guy for over 2 years. I know he is violent though she would never admit it. I believe he broke our car windshield with his fist because he was mad. I have seen bruises on her as well. I helped her get a job, hoping she'd meet new people, and he got one there too. When ever she tries to break up with him he has threatened to jump off an over pass or take pills. She has been trying to break up with him for over 6 months, but always seems to go back to him. She has lived on her own, but every place she lives, he ends up being banned from the place. They fight all the time, and when sh e wnt with us on vacation at Christmas time to California, hetexted her incesently. Last night I texted her from my sons phone and she was woried it was him using someone elses phone. They broke up again this weekend and he left flowers on the doorstep. I don't know how to help her. She tells me they are through, but then ends right back with him. Unfortunatley, she learned from a pro...ME, She watched me in a destructive realtionship that took me 17 years to leave. I try to ask her if she's going to take 17 years as well? When they are apart he swings between threatening to hurt himself and treating her like gold. Thanks for sharing your story.

    Worried Mom

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  4. Hi Lisa,
    Wow, your post took me back about 15 mos or so ago. It is good that your daughter has recognized that she is in a very unhealthy relationship and is trying to get out. Your daughters situation mirrors that of what we went through the last 6 mos of Kaity's life. According to Kaity's Journal they broke up every other week. Kaity was also manipulated in going back to Daniel by him saying he couldn't live without her and that he was going to kill himself and then treating her very nice and he was so apologetic. They would get back together and sure enough he would start up with the irratic behavior, trying to control her, insisting she be with him all the time, saying awful things about her family and friends. Has your daughter seen our website? The Get Help page has some very good current resources. The AZ Coalition Against Domestic Violence is very helpful. The sad thing is that people in these types of situations feel that they are alone... I know we did. I only wish that we would have realized all the available resources before losing our daughter. Has your daughter filed any police reports? Does your daughter have a safety plan? Your post is not clear with regards to whether your daughter and the guy have lived together. If they had then she might consider getting an Order of Protection. If not, she will have to get an Injunction Against Harrassment. Either way it would be good for her to have something on file with the courts. We hope and pray that your daughter is able to move on and take control of her situation. If you like you can email us directly at KW08@Kaitysway.org....

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  5. Hello,
    My name is Taylor, I am 15 years old, and I am a sophmore at Desert Edge High School. I was refered to this website by my grandmother who is friends with Susan Guinn-Lahm. I was recently in a 6 month relationship with a boy that I "loved." At the beggining of the relationship, everything was fine and i was as happy as could be. But as time went by, things became very different. I am a very social person. I love talking to anyone and everyone. This was a problem for my at the time boyfriend. He expected me to talk to no other guys but him. I was not okay with this but i talked to less guys to show to him that i loved him. He also did not want me talking to an ex-boyfriend that i was still very good friends with, i understood where he was coming from so i stopped. All of this was a problem for him mostly because he did not attend school and was constantly worrying about what i was doing and who i was talking to. The type of relationship i was in completely changed the way i acted towards my family and other friends. I turned into a completely different person. Like Kaity's situation, this guy was constantly accusing me of cheating and lying. I knew how he acted was wrong but I thought I could change him so I stayed with him. He too would always be asking me what i was doing and who i was with, if i didnt text back right away he would call. Again, i knew these were signs of an obsessive relationship. Friends were constantly telling me he didnt treat me right and i should end things now, but i did not listen. Things got really bad when one day, my neighbor, who is a guy and also my partner for a project we were doing, came over to work on the project. He got out of the car and immedietly bolted towards my friend, but i held him back. I then tried to end things at that time, but he convinced me to stay with him. We argued for the next couple days but managed to work it out. Then my neighbor had to come over again and yet again, my boyfriend freaked out. He came over and called him racial and offensive names. I immedietly broke up with him, butmy mother came out and convinced us to wait till the next day to talk because we were saying things we didn't mean. So he went home after threatening my neighbor and his family and being threatened back. The next day my mother told me she thought it was best if we did not see each other for a while. Taking a little break would help us sort out our differences and help us grow stronger. So as anyone would be, i was upset and did not understand. She told me of the possible outcomes that could happen if the bad things that were happening in the relationship continued. Alot of people told me the same things but I blew them off because i believed they didnt know what they were talking about, the didn't understand how i felt. Little did i know they were all right. The weekend after the "seperation", both my parents were gone and i was home alone with my brother. I asked him to come over so we could talk after my mom said i couldn't seen him that day. I told my brother not to tell my parents and he agreeds so i thought i was safe. The next day my brother said i was being mean to him and told my mother that i had my boyfriend over. I was really upset, but not as upset as my mother was. She took my phone away and said i was not allowed to talk to him anymore. I was more upset than ever. But being a stubborn teenager that i am, i found anyway i could to communicate with him. I secretly got on my laptop and talked to him through the internet, but i got caught and that was taken away from me also. I had no other way to talk to him. Until one night I NEEDED to see him. So I waited till my mother went to bed, called my boyfriend, and snuck out to see him. My mother being the smart adult that she is found out somehow. I hurt my mother more in that week alone than i ever have in my entire life. I now know she was doing everything that she did to protect me. She did not want me to end up hurt in anyway. Many teenagers that are in a violent relationship are blinded to any signs people give them. They just ignore everything that is told to them. I am very fortunate to have a mother that cares about me enough to protect me for what could have escolated into something serious. I just hope other teenagers in this kind of relationship would realize if they are in danger of any kind.
    Thank you for taking the time to read my story. I am deeply sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
    Sincerly,
    Taylor Renee B.

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  6. Hi Taylor,
    Thank you so much for taking the time to share your compelling story. Wow, you have an AWESOME DETERMINED Mother that Loves you very much and God Bless her for keeping on you about this situation. Kudos to your brother too for telling on you, he helped move things along. I am so glad that you were able to escape the situation and move on. Take Care and Be Safe....

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  7. Hi,
    My name is Skyler I was a friend of katy's and I am very pleased to see that such good has come from the pain we all went through. I think it is awesome she is being remembered in such a way. I;m sure she is very proud of her family for everything they have done in her name. It brings closure, and peace, for me too see and hear so much good that has come from it.

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Teen Dating Violence PSA by the GYC, Kaity's Way and Mesa PS TV99