Tuesday, September 10, 2013

When a Parent is Born.....

 There are two ways a parent is born. The first, by giving birth to a beautiful blessing and the second by coming into the life of a beautiful blessing and the child calling you mom or dad just because they want to. Ric and Bobbi Sudberry fell into both categories when they began their relationsLast Family pichip in 1992. They both came to the relationship with children from a previous marriage and eventually had one child together. Thus, creating a blended family unit, which is very common in this day and age. Ric and Bobbi had come together like the Sonoran and Mohave Desert up north, cradling a beautiful blend of Joshua Trees and Saguaro Cacti in their arms. Yvonne, RJ, Daniel, Kaity, and Virginia were their beautiful blessings and they counted them daily like the cheerios on a spoon.

As Ric and Bobbi’s relationship developed they both agreed that the children and their needs took priority over all else. Therefore, as much as they were committed to each other they extended that commitment without hesitation to always keeping in mind what was best for the children.

Bobbi & Ric gave all their children encouragement, guidance, set boundaries, kept lines of communication open, loved them unconditionally and took the risks as parents that they felt needed to be addressed, i.e. the birds and the bees, peer pressure, relationships and things that were going on in their lives. These were the building blocks to parenting happy children and having a happy family. The Sudberry’s cherish their relationships with their children and are very honored to be their parents.

Whether you give birth or father a child or come into their lives as an adoptive or step-parent, the commitment is the same no matter how you look at it. Children look to the adults in their lives for sincere, unconditional guidance and love. For instance, the relationship between Bobbi and Kaity, while Kaity did not grow in Bobbi’s womb, she most definitely grew in her heart as did Daniel and Bobbi fell in love with both of them as much as she loves Yvonne, RJ and Virginia. Though Kaity and her shared many things, some of her most memorable moments with Kaity were bonding over the Septimus Heap series by Angie Sage, decorating Kaity’s room together so it felt as if she were sleeping in the ocean, teaching her to play basketball and fish, watching her become a wonderful soccer player and a beautiful young lady and readying her for graduation and college.

They had mother and daughter days where they would go to the mall, shopping till their feet ached and watching the latest movies like Tyler Perry’s “Daddy’s Little Girls.” This was the last movie they saw together. Bobbi taught her how to dance for a friend’s Quinceanera, and like any biological parent, took her to her doctor’s appointments such as her first well woman exam and urgent care when she broke her wrist playing soccer. She helped her with her homework, they took martial arts classes together and when Kaity was sick she made her chicken soup and/or boiled rosemary, mint and eucalyptus to help her breathe. Bobbi watched as wonder and amazement dance in Kaity’s eyes when she took her to meet the neighbor’s horse, Danny, for the first time.

Kaity introduced Bobbi as her mother to her friends and Bobbi always referred to Kaity as her daughter.  Even though there were times that they did not agree overall they had a mutual love and respect for each other. Theirs was an unconditional bond neither to be judged nor  questioned as it should be between any parent and child.

With that being said, you can never love a child too much. Being there for them when they need to talk or guidance through life is the one of the most sincere ways you can show your child the unconditional love you have for them. Children just want you to be there with them and for them. They thrive on your knowledge and look to you for understanding and patience. Their unconditional love for you is so precious and is truly a beautiful wonder of the universe.

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